The Origin Of Twilight
by FallenAngel Kit
Summary: How Twilight most likely originated. You Twifreaks probably won't like my theory though. That means its probably true.


**This is a story about the Origin of Twilight. Yeah, I'm totally hating on Twilight, but its funny neh?**

There once was a woman who had no life (or soul, but that's beside the point. The no life is the important part.) As she was searching through Fanfiction on whatever the bloody hell she read, she discovered something that spoke to her heart. It had little to no character development, stupid jokes, no plot, and a bad story. And Sues. She was excited by this, and she checked the reviews. She loved the good ones, and ignored the bad ones by "noobs" who wrote with grammar and used the word "said". She shuddered at the mere thought of this word*.

She realized how great it was, and copy and pasted it into a word document. The entire damn story. Nobody would catch her on plagurizing, as it was Fanfiction. And she would be a multi-millionare. She thought for a moment, then ctrl F'ed and searched for the main character's name. She changed them all to "Bella". And continued changing characters names until she had a totally "original" storyline. The fact that searching K-T rated Fanfiction and adding "100,000 Words Plus" and finding better stuff then this book meant nothing to her. Soon SHE would have her OWN fanfiction page. And everyone would love her books. The woman laughed maniacally as she mailed it to a publisher.

"....And that's how Twilight was created."

The six to twelve year olds at the campfire stood shocked at the insane fourteen year old with his deranged story. "He must be crazy," They thought, "Who wears a shirt that says "You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because you seem to think that as long as its an overdone piece of crap, its gotta be awesome!"?" There was NO way that could've happened. One brave girl stepped forward and asked...

"Erm... Mister Sam?"

The boy glanced at her and grinned. His eyes danced with mischief, and that was never a good thing. EVER. Seriously, the kids worried that he would kill them all in their sleep sometime.

"Yes Miss Moonswordwingfireseven?"

The girl's eyes narrowed. She hated when people made fun of her last name. She was in the "Sue Reform" part of the camp, led by a friend of the insane boy who insisted they call him Sam. But Dem was far worse then Sam could ever be. Far, far, worse...

"If Twilight was so 'bad' why is it so famous?"

The boy laughed at the girl's suggestion. He reflected on when he was that naive, then realized he shouldn't be laughing. These poor children were being corrupted, and taken away from good plots and such.

"Look kid. People will buy ANYTHING mainstream. ANYTHING. If I add the words "Yaoi" to a fanfic, I will get hundreds of reviews. Never mind that none of the characters act gay at any point in time. Its 'hawt'. Tell ya what. I'm gonna ask you about three of the best damn things of all time. You can tell me if you've heard of one of them."

The children nodded.

"Best game ever, what do you guys say?"

The children all shouted: "HALO 3!"

Sam sighed. "See? Mainstream. Nay my friends, the ultimate game is 'Portal'. Don't see how I can fix this Halo obsession though, more people play Halo then go to any form of prayer..."

The children muttered darkly. Halo was NOT mainstream. This boy was obviously stupid.

Sam snickered. "Think I'm crazy neh?" The children nodded. "Halo isn't mainstream hmmm?" They nodded forcefully. "Then lemme ask you this, how many of you HAVEN'T heard of Halo before age three, be it from family, or friends?" They stood shocked. He grinned. "Gotcha. Now, best joke ever?"

They nodded at each other and replied: "Fail jokes or Chuck Norris ones!"

He winced. "Old, old, OLD news. The internet got over that long ago. So, now that campfire time is over, GO TO FREAKIN SLEEP!"

The children jumped up and ran off to their cabins, to secretly read their Twilight fanfiction.

He yelled after them:

"And the next Twilight book we finds owner's cabin get's RAZED TO THE GROUND!"

~Fin~

* * *

***: Kudos to Dem's "How Not To Write Fanfiction" guide for making me see that.**


End file.
